Off Balance

There was a time when I knew what I knew
was sure of it, confident, happy, smug.
Then, a puny, piddling, gnat-sized nudge
set me slightly off balance with its gentle tug
of what if.

I couldn’t even put it into sensible words
It was a discontent, a sigh soft and long,
something not quite right
worse, what if we have it all wrong
cued the nudge.

Since that day for some years now
I seem to live with spiritual vertigo
my feet no longer planted firm
in certainty – it’s been a blow to my ego
of know it all.

Somehow, I’ve learned to live this way
sure as anyone can be with the Divine
and hoping He will fill in the gaps
take the doubt, the faith and define
an acceptable belief.